Welcome to the Majority. After 8 years of Bush, and the horrible "triangulated 90’s", we finally have an honest to god, for real, intelligent, progressive majority in American politics. WE WON! I know, you are having a hard time believing it just as much as I am, but guess what – WE WON! WE ARE THE MAJORITY PARTY!
As strange as this feels after 8 years of abuse while in minority party , we need to start getting used to it and start acting a little differently. This transition, though I expected would happen sooner, is apparently a little harder to manage that I originally thought. What do you all think of establishing a few ground rules to help "manage" the transition into a full-on, acting as we are - majority?
Rule #1 Single Issue Activism is officially, finally, FAUX PAS
Seriously people, single issue activism is for – you got it – THE MINORITY PARTY! Since we are the Majority Party, ASSUME THE SALE! We got your back! We got the votes! Let’s rock!
Rule #2 Bashing conservative states IS MORANIC!
I’m talking to you Texas hataz! Yeah, that’s right! You are acting like a scared little puppy dog in the corner! Do you really think Texas will Secede? REALLY? REALLY?!?! Quit acting like a minority party and start acting like you got A MANDATE TO SPEND! Guess what? THIS ISN’T 2003! You can leave Texas alone. We progressives here in Texas are kicking ass ON YOUR BEHALF! And guess what else? When you start bashing Texas YOU ARE FUCKING IT UP FOR ME! Please stop, as John Stewart said to Tucker Carlson, you are hurting America. Seriously – Stop It.
Rule 3# Stay CLASSY
For real people, let’s class this joint up a little bit. We got guests coming over who have never been here before and your super inside-baseball snark diary does not make a damn bit of sense to the prog-curios. MSM sounds like porn and TradMed sounds like a stock tip.
Rule #4 Keep CALM! Present FACTS! AVOID Hyperbole!
Come on mates, let’s stay calm here. Let’s avoid needless comparisons and hyperbolic statements. We have the Majority. This means we can rationally present our case to the American people without presenting some crazy horrible alternative of what would happen if the evil nazi-publicans get their way. The American people had 8 years of that and voted Obama in. It’s time to deliver the goods in a mature, reasonable way without distorting facts as way to manage perception.
Rule #5 Wash your hands after using the restroom!
That’s just good, common sense. Who knows when someone might see you do a "splash ‘n dash." Would you really listen to someone’s progressive ideas if you saw them afterwards and kept thinking to yourself "They didn’t wash with SOAP!" For real, let’s wash our hands after touching our naughty bits. You never know who is gonna catch you not doing it.
Rule #6 Stop the circular FIRING SQUAD.
We are all on the same team. Recently I gave been guilty of this exact thing. Let’s all do each other a favor and quit hating on one another. It looks really ugly and turns people off. This one segues nicely with staying classy and leads to my last point:
Rule #7 WHAT WOULD MICHELLE DO?
Michelle Obama is one classy lady. She is a good role model. Americans trust her, and so should you. Think about how she would handle herself around here, and ask yourself, "Am I stinking up this place or not?" Imagine Michelle Obama was a permanent dinner guest here and act accordingly. That will help us appear the majority instead of an angry leftist mob that plays right into right-wing stereotypes.
So, that’s all I got for now. If anyone else has other items to add to the list post them in the comments.
Hope this helps...
Thanks for reading!